Breastfeeding/Chestfeeding is NOT just for babies!!!!

The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends exclusive breast or chest feeding for the first 6 months of life after which time babies should be given complimentary foods and continue to be breast or chest fed for up to two years or BEYOND! In the United States, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) mirrors the recommendation of six months of exclusive breast or chest feeding but only recommends duration of up to one year or beyond.  As a result of the latter, many birth parents in the United States opt for breast or chest feeding for only six months and those that make it to a year quickly wean upon the first birthday anniversary because they read the AAP's language as stating "up to a year" and do not read the full context of the recommendation: up to a year or BEYOND!

Human Milk

Human milk is not just for newborns and babies. Human milk has been proven to evolve over the period of time that the child continues to consume it. In the second year, between 13-24 months, 448 mLs (slightly more than 15 ounces) of breastmilk has been shown to provide: 29% of energy requirements, 43% of protein requirements, 36% of calcium requirements, 75% of vitamin A requirements, 76% of folate requirements, 94% of vitamin B12 requirements, 60% of vitamin C requirements. (Dewey 2001). We have also found that the fat and energy content of human milk from lactating parents who have been lactating for over one year is greater than that of milk from parents who have been lactating for shorter periods of time (Mandel 2005). It is, therefore, egregious that healthcare professionals, specifically pediatricians in the US, routinely tell parents that human milk after a year has "no nutritional value."

Human milk continues to confer significant nutritional and immunological protections beyond the first year of life.  We need to do a much better job of providing accurate, evidence-based information to parents in order to empower them to make informed decisions that best suit their developmental and health goals for their children. Immunity benefits of human milk improve with duration! It takes between two and six years for a child's immune system to fully mature. A number of studies have shown that children that breast or chest feed maintain better health outcomes during the duration of breast or chest feeding. Some studies have also shown that these health benefits may last beyond the duration of breast or chest feeding and may pose greater health benefits long into the individual's life span. (Goldman 1983, Saarenin, U. 1982) 

We need to advocate for improved parental support in our society by electing politicians that truly support family values and who will ensure that we have federal protections allowing for significant PAID family leave and lactation services coverage, like other developed nations have. The United States is among just nine countries in the world who do NOT provide any nationwide PAID family leave. There are currently some states that, over the last several years, have legislated paid family leave but we still have no federal protection for paid leave for families.

Breast or Chest Feeding Is MUCH MORE Than Drinking Milk

Breast or chest feeding provides so much more than just human milk consumption and lower morbidity and mortality rates. Feeding at the breast or chest of a parent provides comfort, protection, connection and trust through the unique hormonal imprinting that happens when child and parent connect at the breast or chest. We owe it to our children to provide families with optimal support to ensure that parents are making informed choices about infant and child feeding and that parents receive the appropriate resources to help them reach their goals.

In the United States, there is intense societal pressure on lactating parents to stop breast or chest feeding at a year of age. I experienced this first hand and after a year and a half of relentless scrutiny I weaned my daughter at almost 2.5 years of age.  Neither of us were ready and we would have likely naturally weaned a year after my precipitous push to wean her due to the constant intrusions and disapproval.  Eleven and a half years later and I still feel pained about the experience and the constant pressure I experienced.  Why is it anyone's business when a parent and child end the nursing relationship?  What burden does a nursing toddler or child pose on anyone outside of the child parent relationship? The issue, at least partly, stems from the sexualization of breasts in our society. There is NO age or location when breast or chest feeding is inappropriate. Satiating, hydrating and nurturing our children can NEVER be inappropriate. We need to pay closer attention to the language we use because it perpetuates ideas about what is normal and what is not.  Calling human milk feeding of a child over the age of one or any age "extended" breast or chest feeding necessitates the assumption that there is an age when nursing stops being appropriate.  Normal term breast or chest feeding is what human children do when allowed to naturally evolve in their nursing experience.  On average, human children naturally wean, in societies where there is no pressure or intervention to wean, between the ages of 2.5 and 4 years of age, though of course there are some children who will naturally wean earlier and some that when allowed to nurse without constraints or pressure to wean will breast or chest feed for as long as 7 years of age.  

Support For Breast Or Chest Feeding Beyond A Year

If you have breast or chest fed your child for ANY duration, I CONGRATULATE you!  If you are nursing beyond the first year, I want you to know that only you and your child should determine when it is appropriate to end your nursing relationship.  For more support with your normal term nursing experience you can visit kellymom, find a La Leche League meeting for nursing toddlers in the US or else where in the world, visit the Natural Child Project for accurate information on the benefits of normal term breast or chest feeding, or visit kveller or Parenting for encouragement and tips on how to handle the unwarranted societal pressure to wean on someone else's timeline.

For the wonderful mamas in my life that have completed normal term breastfeeding (these parents identify as moms and as breastfeeders): Rachel E., Logan, Kimberleigh, Rachel C., Lexy, Jennifer, Elena, Marah, Tara, Shontay, Ann, Michele L., Mary W. E., Amy, Lisa V., Cynthia, and Lisa S. A.: CONGRATS on your beautiful accomplishment!!  For the lovely mamas in my life, and every where, currently nursing your babes past the first year: Karin, Lauren, Jessica, Beth, Jill and Maria: you have my endless love and support any time you need refuge from our often-times punishing world. 

“When you hold a child to your breast to nurse, the curve of the little head echoes exactly the curve of the breast it suckles, as though this new person truly mirrors the flesh from which it sprang.” -Diana Gabaldon, Dragonfly in Amber

Becoming a Birth Parent is hard AF!!!!

Being a birth parent is hard. It is isolating. It is exhausting. It is frustrating and so much more! We need to start being honest with birth parents and their partners too, of course. Yes, it is earth-shattering and glorious too, but it is essential to the sanity of birth parents  everywhere that we do a better job of discussing the many challenges of becoming a parent.

Sure, not every birth parent will experience the crazy rollercoaster of raging emotional highs and lows and not every parent will have difficulty; but personally in fourteen years of maternal child health private practice and public health work in Northern New Jersey and New York City, I do not know any birth parent that has not struggled physically, emotionally or psychologically on this beautiful and complex journey.

Breast Or Chest Feeding Support

We are telling birth parents what classes to take, what gear to buy, which care provider and birthing place to choose, but we are not taking them out to lunch or dinner and being truthful about our own experiences. We need to tell them what was hard and how we survived it. We need to give them information on all the nearest support groups like La Leche League, the number to a local IBCLC, and even the number for a great therapist who specializes in helping birth parents navigate the postpartum period. If you live in Hudson County, NJ, where I practice, our local La Leche League group is amazing and meets in Hoboken and Jersey City each once a month. LLL of Jersey City even has a monthly evening meeting for lactating parents who work outside the home. Pregnant parents are welcomed to LLL meetings.  LLL meetings are open only to lactating parents. I believe every parent who births should have access to nurturing and knowledgeable professionals  to ensure their healthy mental state while navigating this new and overwhelming role as the primary care giver to a newborn human.

What To Get Your Pregnant Friend

I, for one, refuse to buy anything on a registry list for anyone I know. Instead, I would rather pay for postpartum doula hours, a gift certificate for a lactation consultant, arrange for nutritious meals to be delivered after the birth, get them a gift certificate for a grocery delivery service in their area like FreshDirect, make a meal train for the first six weeks, pay for house cleaning, pay for a wash and fold service to pick up and deliver their laundry for the first 4-6 weeks after the birth, or find a greatly recommended mother's helper on one of the FaceBook parenting groups local to the new parents and gift them as many hours as you can afford (you can even get multiple family members or friends to pitch in and multiply those hours).  For parents in Hudson County, you can check Hoboken Mommies or Jersey City Moms for local resources. 

If you know someone who just gave birth, whether it is a relative, friend or neighbor - even if you barely know them - please take the time and text, call, or email to let them know that you understand the insanity of it all. Tell them that you are arranging for two days worth of meals to be delivered. Let them know that you are bringing over a care package and that you will only stay for 15 minutes, unless they are all alone and need a nap, in which case you are happy to stay for three hours so they can eat a meal, feed the baby, then sleep soundly while you nurture the babe in your arms.

Giving Birth Is The Hardest Thing We Do As Humans

Next time you see a pregnant person or a new birth parent whom you know, tell them that it is harder than anything that they will ever, ever do; but that in their darkest moments they must remember that they WILL make it. Let them know that they are stronger than they had ever imagined possible and that having their heart fully exposed for the rest of their living days will make their life sweeter, kinder, and more colorful than they could have ever known.

If you approach parenthood with intention and the reverence it demands, the experience will gift you an opportunity to know your truest self and you will be inspired to make our world a better and kinder place. If you have read this far, please know that I understand your joys and pains and I salute you for embarking on one of the most courageous of all human experiences.

I SEE YOU and all that you do and give!!!  XOXO